psychotherapy for parents
I see individuals who are parents, rather than parents together.
If you wish to be seen as a parenting couple or co-parenting couple I may be able to refer you to clinicians offering parent work.
Services offered include
90-minute sessions
for reflecting on birth experience whether personally or as a witness,
by c-section or vaginal delivery
Individual psychotherapy at any stage before during or after the transition to parenting. Sometimes referred to as matrescence in relation to mothers
Individual psychotherapy for parents of neurodiverse, or suspected neurodiverse, children, exploring your unique experience
I have a special interest in working with parents and experience in supporting mothers in the perinatal period. I also work with individuals through the transition to parenthood, as well as around the unique, often emotionally isolating challenges of parenting neurodiverse child(ren), whether diagnosed or undiagnosed. I also work with other issues relating to parenting, such as involuntary childlessness (see further resources below), and ethical questions around having children in the current global socioeconomic climate.
The psychotherapist, mothers' advocate and writer, the late Naomi Stadlen, was my mentor during my psychotherapy training and whilst I volunteered with the UK Birth Trauma Association (BTA) I have also undertaken two perinatal psychiatric placements in the NHS.
I believe accessing psychotherapy can be one of the most helpful things we can do for ourselves and our child(ren). I welcome any and all thoughts or feelings you might experience, dark, joyful and everything in between, in a non-judgmental, thoughtful space. I have found parents sometimes need support to move into new relationship with themselves and the role of parent.
You can explore the services I offer parents below or get in touch for more information or a free no obligation 15 minute phone/video call.
Birth processing / reflections
I offer in-depth birth reflection sessions lasting 90 minutes, from 6-months postpartum. I believe that birth is almost always intense, but according to the Birth Trauma Association, birth is considered traumatic if you experienced it as such. I define this as a birth experience you are struggling to come to terms with and process, which was shocking, disturbing or is causing you lasting distress. What one individual found difficult but manageable can be traumatic for another.
Sharing the experience of a traumatic birth, or of witnessing a partner experiencing the traumatic birth of your child with a neutral, empathetic other, can help to come to terms with it. If a birth was difficult, friends and family may not understand, or may want to reassure you and/or sometimes cannot bear to hear about the details or the level of distress you may have experienced.
I offer a space where you can share the impact and perhaps put it into words and/or express any or all of your feelings around the birth, however difficult. There is no limit to the amount of time that has passed since you gave birth to qualify for a birth reflection session.
Signs you may have had a traumatic birth include but are not limited to:
- Flashbacks -
- Intrusive thoughts about the birth -
- Insomnia and/or debilitating anxiety -
- A persistent sense of physical vulnerability -
- Episodes of prolonged/frequent crying beyond the early “baby blues” -
Further resources can be found at the Birth Trauma Association.
For serious difficulties impacting your capacity to function, please contact your GP, or if you are in crisis please access a crisis service such as the Samaritans or further resources such as those listed here.
Birth reflection sessions are 90 minutes, and cost £150 in-person or online.
I have a limited number of lower cost slots, if relevant to your circumstances.
Please mention this in your initial contact.
Transition to parenthood
The transition to becoming a parent and family life, whatever your situation, hasn’t received enough attention in our society. Yet I think most people would say it was a big shift, learning curve and for many a shock even. We can’t really know what it will be like for us beforehand, there is no formula, we don't know our baby yet, and we’re often sleep deprived and thrown straight into the deep end.
The transition to motherhood for women has begun to be talked about more in recent years under the term matrescence, which the anthropologist Dana Raphael first used in 1973, because she felt it was akin to adolescence, due to the gargantuan hormonal and other life shifts and identity changes women undergo in this period, but I think all parents irrespective of gender, experience huge identity and existential shifts.
Whilst I think there is something particular to process in the bodily experience of growing a human inside you, and of pregnancy and birth, I think it is something we all have primal links to from our own earliest experiences whether we’re the one who has gone through it to become a parent or not. I welcome all experience of parenthood in any and all of its manifestations. It is a monumental life event and one that can bring up all sorts of feelings for anyone who enters into it.
I provide a non-judgemental, open minded space for you to talk and think about what this has been like for you whether challenging, confusing, joyous, interesting, devastating, boring, difficult or painful.
Sessions are 50 minutes and cost £80.
I have a limited number of lower cost slots, if relevant to your circumstances.
Please mention this in your initial contact.
Parenting Neurodiversity
I work with parents of neurodiverse, or suspected neurodiverse children. Some other ways this might be described that I have come across are: 'highly sensitive', 'spirited', 'high needs' or sometimes just 'difficult'. I provide a space to explore your experience of your child’s difference and how it interacts with your life, and whatever else you might want or need to bring to sessions.
It can be wonderful, highly challenging and everything in between to parent a child who might present as any combination of extremely strong-willed, anxious, withdrawn, emotionally dysregulated, verbally or physically challenging, distressed, confused and confusing, or unreachable, to echo just some of the words parents use.
Whilst I don’t have the answers, I know the toll this can take on parents who are usually trying to balance how to best meet the needs of their child as well as their own needs and those of other family members. For some, the responses of others can also feel unhelpful, short-sighted and isolating. I endeavour to provide a space where you can explore any and all difficult feelings without judgement or the pressure to fix anything.
Sessions are 50 minutes and cost £80.
I have a limited number of lower cost slots, if relevant to your circumstances.
Please mention this in your initial contact.
Resources
- PARENTING -
What Mothers Do, Especially When it Looks Like Nothing by Naomi Stadlen
Why Love Matters by Susan Gerhardt
Matrescence by Lucy Jones
They Fuck You Up by Oliver James
Motherhood by Lisa Marchiano
- PARENTING NEURODIVERSE CHILDREN -
- INVOLUNTARY CHILDLESSNESS -
Parenting Neurodiverse Children
I work with parents of neurodiverse, or suspected neurodiverse children. Some other ways this might be described by that I have come across are: highly sensitive, spirited, high needs or sometimes just 'difficult'. I am certainly not an expert but I do have experience with neurodiverse children and/or children who might be different in the ways some of these terms might be reaching for or speaking to.
I provide a space to explore your experience of your child’s difference and how it interacts with your life, wider relationships, background and childhood experiences and whatever else you might want or need to bring to sessions.
It can be both wonderful and highly challenging and everything in between to parent a child who might present as any combination of extremely strong-willed, anxious, withdrawn, emotionally dysregulated, verbally or physically challenging, distressed, confused and confusing, unreachable, to echo just some of the word parents use.
Whilst I don’t have the answers, I know the toll this can take on parents who are usually trying to balance how to best meet the needs of their child as well as their own needs and those of other family members. For some, the responses of others can also feel unhelpful, short-sighted and isolating. I endeavour to provide a space where you can explore any and all difficult feelings without judgement or the pressure to fix anything.
Sessions are 50 minutes and cost £80.
I have a limited number of lower cost slots, if relevant to your circumstances.
Please mention this in your initial contact.